Victim, Culprit and Detective
by Dagron
Summary: Do you remember when I asked you what you would do if the murderer was someone you knew? 3 Parter with Dark themes.
1. What if?

Title: "**Victim, Culprit and Detective**"  
Author: Dagron was given a plunny via msn by Teainapot. It grew.  
Word Count: 260, 506 and 4 400 makes 5 166 words total.  
Rating: Teen. Disclaimer: All Gosho Aoyama's. Warnings: DEATH FIC. Angst.  
Characters: Ran, Shinichi & Heiji.  
Summary: Do you remember when I asked you what you would do if the murderer was someone you knew?

**What if...**

"Say Shinichi..." his childhood friend whispered. "You remember when I asked you what would you do if the murderer was someone you knew, like Agasa-hakase?"

" 'Course I do."  
The teenage detective's answer was fully assured as he stared fixedly in front of him. How could he forget. It was the strongest thought in his mind as he had denounced his own father for being the boss of a criminal organisation. And not just any organisation. The one that had tried to kill him.

"Can you answer me another question?"

"Hm?"

"What would you do if that person's victim was someone you also knew. What if..."

... Shinichi waited patiently for Ran to finish her question. It was only after a second of blinding pain in his lungs that he realised what she had done.

"What if it was you...?"

He couldn't answer as he looked blankly at Ran's tear-strewn face. Apparently Ran was finding it hard to look into his eyes, awaiting an answer that couldn't come. She fled as soon as he started coughing blood. He noticed the knife she had dropped and grabbed it. He wiped away the prints and held it in his own hand.

"I... Ran..."  
With difficulty, he shifted his position, pointing the blade towards himself.  
"I'd make sure it wasn't a murder." He choked... A lone tear ran down his cheek.

When his corpse was found, everyone thought it was a cleverly disguised murder. Only one knew it was suicide, and that was the deceased.

_...Ran..._

--:--


	2. Ghosts

**Ghosts.**

It was a murder. She had known even before they had told her they had found him, even before they said that he was dead. In a sense, she was relieved. She wouldn't have to look into his eyes, she wouldn't have to face his accusation, his quiet plea for an explanation, or his understanding. But now she would have to live with his blood on her hands, with his ghost behind her shoulder.

She hated ghosts. They never disappeared, they lingered. They were a painful reminder of one's own mortality. Just as her karate skills, her hands, were a terrible reminder of her ability to give death.  
Just as Shinichi would forever now be a symbol of her crimes.

She had expected them to corner her, to arrest her at any instant... But they didn't. It was unexplainable. They argued amongst themselves. They thought it was murder. They thought it was a suicide... But Shinichi would never commit suicide, so it had to be murder right?  
... How could they even confuse a knife to the chest with a self-inflicted wound?

It was only when they finally showed her how he had died that she understood their confusion. Yes, he had the blow to the chest she herself had given him, but he also had something else... Something she hadn't done. Someone had driven the blade into his head from under his jaw. By the look of his hands gripped around the knife, it had been himself.

... Shinichi's ghost weighed heavily on her shoulder.

Why? Why had he done that? Even if she handed herself in now, they wouldn't believe her, they would ask how she had managed to get Shinichi into that position... They would ask why. Why, Shinichi? Did you hate her that much, as to force her to live eternally in guilt? Did you truly hate her so as to refuse her the redemption of being caught?

She had a breakdown. Everyone assumed it was because the man she had loved had died in such a horrible manner, had preferred to kill himself or allow himself be killed than to stay alive and be by her side. Everyone was so horribly nice to her. They told her there was nothing she could have done, when she knew it was false. They told her that she had to move on, but how could she with such a weight on her shoulders?

The worst was Heiji, when he had sworn to her that he would find Shinichi's murderer for her, find out whoever it was so they could pay. She loathed him yet loved him for that.

Sometimes she wished she could make it all go away... But she knew she could only allow herself that luxury once someone had cleared her mess, once someone had freed her from her guilt. All she could do was wish Heiji could channel Shinichi's ghost into solving the crime as he always would... That Heiji would finish what had been started.

And he did.

**--:--**


	3. Closure

**Closure.**

Heiji had not taken the news of Kudo's death well. Kudo had become one of his rocks in life, his landmark, his goal, his pal. It was no exaggeration to say that his murder was and would probably forever be one of the hardest cases he had put his mind to. This was not some random body, falling from the sky onto the car, this was not some random family acquaintance who had been killed just as they were leaving, or even some tragic tale involving a pretty girl he had just met. This was Kudo Shinichi, his rival and partner, his best friend. And this best friend was dead.

He had thrown himself into the investigation as soon as he had gotten over his initial shock, putting aside any distractions, devoting all his energy to finding the culprit, in the hopes of escaping the pain. But pain was unavoidable. It soon came to light that the most likely suspects were not strangers either, were people he liked or that Kudo had deeply trusted. It was a strong reminder of the numb pain he had witnessed in his friend, as Kudo had put behind bars the one person he had the least expected to lead a criminal organisation: his father.  
What would he have done, if his own father had been put behind bars, by no less than himself? Would he have continued to trust his other friends and family just the same, or go as far as to shun Kazuha from his surroundings without a word of explanation? No. He didn't think he would lose all trust, nor did Heiji think Shinichi could have lost faith in his other friends for so little.

After all, innocent till proven guilty was one of the key edicts of their vocation... But being innocent did not free one of suspicions.

He remembered having a strange dream, the night that Kudo had died.  
His friend had come to him with a request, a strange plea. Kudo had asked him to tell Ran that he was sorry. But sorry for what? He had returned to her as he had promised, had he not? Had he forgotten to tell her the truth? Heiji didn't think so... After all, Kudo would have needed someone to talk to about his post-organisation woes. Heiji doubted Yukiko Kudo would have been up to it, or that Kudo would have thought Haibara or the Professor appropriate. He sure knew he hadn't been the one Kudo had talked to, though he recalled his eastern equivalent thanking him for the offer, but hinting that he had found someone else to talk to.

In the end, Heiji had dismissed the dream as nonsense, though he could not shrug off the strange coincidence of its timing with his friend's death. Even if he tended to deny it, Heiji often had dreams he ended up thinking of as prophetic. Maybe it was to say sorry that he had died, that he could not find this one murderer that had hurt them all so? But if that was the case, could he not have trusted Heiji to do so for him? To find the one responsible and put them to rights? Did Kudo have so little trust in him?

There were moments when Heiji wanted to find the Kudo from his dream, and punch him for having such a bitter-sad face as he had faded away.

It was only after the funeral service and the burial that he started to suspect the dark truth behind his dream. He had witnessed Ran's breakdown, and found it strange. Despite her fragile look, Ran was strong, he knew that. Kudo had known that. And, as he watched Hai- no, Miyano frown, he knew that she knew too. He felt a terrible weight descend upon his stomach. It was just a silly thought, wasn't it? Kudo had told him how much trouble Ran had with the notion of guilt, going as far as to develop some kind of amnesia as a result. He had to make sure, he had to prove her innocence to himself... After all, who was he really trying to find the culprit for? He had told Ran himself that he wanted to find that person, to put her mind to rest. He wanted to prove to Kudo that he could help her out in his stead.

He had spent so much time by her side, doing his best to cheer her up, to distract her from morbid thoughts while continuing his investigation in a discreet manner. After all, she had been so kind as to allow him and Kazuha to stay over at her old man's place with her. He watched Ran, helped by Kazuha, cook their dinner that evening, saw her hand tremble as she took the chopping knife to the meat. She couldn't have done it. She would never have had the courage to try and clumsily fake Kudo's death as a suicide. Yet his unease didn't go away, nor did the memory of Kudo's face fade.

What motive could she have had anyway?

It took him a while to seriously return to considering such thoughts, so focussed he was on investigating other suspects. Eisuke Hondou had seemed likely, until he had found out he had been with Haibara then. Haibara could have had a motive, both to kill, to lie, but he doubted she would have resorted to a knife. After all, she knew so many poisons, could even make one that killed without a trace. But something told him that Haibara owed Kudo way too much to revert to the ways of her former employers. His only remaining suspects were Kudo's father or... Ran.

Kudo senior had the motive, it was clear, but he was also behind bars. Yusaku was no phantom thief, even if he had escaped the scrutiny of the law for so long. That said, it had been proven that he was manipulative beyond imagination... Yukiko perhaps? The woman could disguise herself as anyone she wanted. He knew first hand. But no, she had not left Eri Kisaki's side ever since her husband's arrest. Kisaki was not the kind to lie for a friend.

Ran? But what kind of leverage could Yusaku have had on her? What kind of motive could push one to kill not only their childhood friend, but the one they love? It wasn't like Kudo would cheat on her, or lie without good cause. Heiji could not for the world imagine Kazuha killing him or the other way around.

He didn't know what to do or think. Kudo's face kept appearing before him, his sad eyes no longer showing disdain for his capacities, but knowledge of the difficult task ahead. Kudo didn't want to force Heiji to do this. There was more to this case than simply finding the murderer.

It merely took a small word with Haibara to convince him that he was on the right track. A short exchange on Kudo's psychology, on his love for Ran. Kudo would have done anything to protect Ran. Anything.

He couldn't have! ...Could he?

The more Heiji thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make. The more the idea imposed itself to him, the more clues and pointers he could find. All that was left was the motive. The most obscure motive he had ever searched for.

It was thanks to Kazuha, clueless Kazuha, that he got the breakthrough.

Ran was a very caring person. She loved the people around her deeply, even those of short acquaintance that she had taken a liking to. She could be prepared to use violence on anyone she thought was using or hurting the ones she cared for. Prepared to do anything if she thought it could put a stop to it.

And Ran talked in her sleep.

Kazuha had mentioned this offhand, saying something about how Ran's friend Eisuke seemed to have mentioned to her something about his sister, jail, death. Ran's slumber also provided information such as Yukiko's avoidance of Shinichi for what he had done to his father, Yusaku saying he was disappointed in his son not seeing the bigger picture, not visiting him in his cell. Kogoro's dishonour at finding out who was behind the sleeping Mouri, Kisaki's worry at Ran's frequenting a death magnet, Miyano casually alluding to Kudo's inability to save her sister... All so many little things, some which Heiji had gone to great lengths to hear himself, that started slowly to paint the profile of a motive.

For some reason that escaped him, Heiji found himself calling the half-british detective Saguru Hakuba. The smug teenager had always gotten on his nerves, but Heiji felt he was the only one he could now turn to for advice. Kudo kept on looking sadly at him in his dreams and had been no help at all.

"What honours me with this phone call, mister western detective?"  
The surrogate Eastern counterpart had not changed one bit.

"Say, Hakuba... Your trademark phrase is 'Why did you do it?' ain't it?"  
A pause on the line. A querying sound. Heiji said nothing else, waiting for Hakuba to realize that his question had not been some crack at his modus operandi.

"My, I must say that was the last thing I expected you to call me about. Is it not 7 AM in Osaka?"

"I'm in Tokyo and it is 6 AM here. Don't worry about the phone bill, my Dad is paying." Or at least Heiji hoped so. This was a fairly long distance and expensive call after all.

"Hm, I see." Hakuba's voice conveyed his puzzled amusement. "And yes, apparently some people consider that my trademark phrase. I just think it is natural to ask of criminals what their motives are."

"But why do you ask? Don't you know?"

"...Can you honestly claim to know what it is that pushes these people to break the law, Hattori? To kill for, as they may appear to the bystander, trivial reasons? We detectives may be good at guessing the gist of what motivates them, but we can never truly understand what it is they feel, how they think."

"Is that really the only reason why you ask them that, Hakuba?"

Another pause, a sigh.  
"To be honest, Hattori, sometimes I feel that when I ask that question... It is the only moment where I feel truly human as a detective."

"..."

"And now if that is all you had to ask me, I need to run. My train is leaving in ten minutes thirty-three seconds and I need to find my wagon."

And with that the call was over, leaving Heiji with nothing but answers and a difficult choice.  
To call an end to this case or leave it open indefinitely?

Now he knew why Kudo had looked so sad in that dream, why he had died like that. He had all the elements in hand, now he needed to decide what to do with them. It didn't take him long to see what it was he should do. He was a detective after all. But as a friend... As a man...  
He recalled Ran's breakdown, her terrified glances, the way she had trembled in her sleep as he had watched over her and Kazuha. She would slouch, as if carrying a weight she could not carry alone, and somewhere in her eyes, he remembered reading an uncertain plea. She herself did not know whether or not she wanted him to do it, but there was one thing he was sure of now, it was that it could continue no longer.

He asked her to meet with him, alone, at a quiet café in Haido that very afternoon. When she sent him a querying look, he added that it was about the case.

He spent the day organising himself, checking and double-checking his evidence, imagining all the outcomes possible, hoping against hope that something would pop-up to tell him that he was wrong. But he knew he was right. He knew because for some reason, he could see a glimmer of hope in his recollection of Kudo's face. That didn't mean he did not feel bad about it. He could barely look Kazuha in the face. She knew nothing of his suspicions. Nothing yet. She'd probably hate him for entertaining them, let alone proving them. He wasn't ready to face his childhood friend like that. And this wasn't any culprit. This was Ran. Heiji knew first hand how much Shinichi had loved her, how much she had loved him back.

He arrived at the cafe thirty minutes prior, and found himself with nothing better to do than fidget and worry. What if she didn't come? But no, he had planned for that contingency, hadn't he?

It was only when he saw her approaching, her step subdued, her fake smile glued onto her face below her terrified gaze that he realized he had been hoping she wouldn't come, wishing he did not have to do this.

"Sorry, I'm late Heiji. I... I want to hear what you have to say."

He had not even realized that she was late. He gestured for her to take a seat, waving off her apology. In a moment of awkwardness, he ordered her a drink, waited for the waiter to leave once the consummation had arrived, and looked her in the eyes. This was it, no more running around in circles.

"I know who killed Kudo."

Ran did not say anything. It was only natural. In her position he was not sure whether he would trust his mouth either. Her eyes said plenty enough.

"I know how he died. Not just the mechanics, but who did what."

Here he noticed her hand jump on her lap, but she still didn't say anything. Instead he noticed no longer a guarded expression in her face, but a mixture of fear and hope. It was a look he had seen on many a criminal's face, but never quite had he felt himself react to it this way.

"And I think I have figured out the why."

"Tell me, Heiji." She finally talked, her voice calmer than he had expected, her face somewhat serene and resigned. She smiled at him, an honest and small smile. Dammit, why did this have to feel so unfair.

"The person who wanted Kudo dead, Ran, was you."  
She did not deny the fact, just looked down, away from him, and waited for him to go on.

"You made sure the two of you would be alone that night, made sure no one would notice. You probably fooled him into thinking you just wanted a normal conversation, or maybe he was the one who wanted to talk, and you just jumped on the occasion."  
She shook her head slightly when he mentioned the possibility of Kudo instigating the talk, but didn't butt in.

"You had hidden the knife upon you. I don't think you bothered with gloves. Kudo would have noticed. You took it out when he was distracted, and stabbed him in the chest. Am I wrong?"

"No." Not a hint of denial. It was as if she had been waiting all along for someone to call her game. "No, it's as you said. But do you have proof? Can you tell me of his... Other wound?"

"I have proof." He gestured to one of the files under his hand, opening it with a flick of his finger, twirling it so she could see. Stills from a surveillance camera, timed and dated a little before Shinichi's approximate time of death. Ran nodded. She needed no more.  
"As for... The killing blow. It was self inflicted."

"Self inflicted?" He nodded at her query. "I thought so... But why..?"

"Why? That's what I should be asking. Ran, I know why he did that. He did that to protect you. He would have done anything to protect you Ran, anything! So why did you want to... Why did you want him dead?"

"Does it really matter, the why?" A crack in her voice. "It's not that I _wanted_ him dead, but... I..."

Her voice died, as tears started to stream unbidden down her cheeks. Heiji took her hand.

"I had a dream," he said. "The other night, I dreamt that Kudo came to me with a message. A message for you."  
She looked at him, startled. Obviously she had not expected compassion.  
"He told me to tell you that he was sorry. He didn't say what for, but I think you can imagine now. It took me a while to understand."

They waited in silence, as Ran cried. After a few minutes, she took her hand out of his grasp, and wiped the tears away. She sighed, and spoke once more.

"I didn't know how to quit him." It was a simple phrase. "I love... I loved him, but... I couldn't ignore the hurt around him. I tried. I tried so hard... But the longer it went, the harder it became. He was so perfect that the rest of the world hurt, and me with it. I knew I couldn't simply leave him. Not only would he find me, but I would end up letting myself be found. I needed to make it definite... And nothing is more definite than death."

She picked up her drink, looking at it sadly.

"I only wish..." Heiji listened, focused on her words, his eyes fixed upon her face, her lips. "I only wish it hadn't been him."

It took him a moment to realize what was happening, by the time he did, it was already too late for him to do anything but stand and shout out in fear. His chair crashed onto the floor at the same time as the bottle of medication did. Ran's eyes were wide.

"I don't think you want to do that, Mouri-san." The woman's knuckles whitened, as her hand maintained its hold upon Ran Mouri's mouth. "It seems easy, it really does, but it isn't as easy as that. Believe me, I've tried."

"Ha- Miyano!" Heiji stared, uncomprehending, at the chemist no longer turned child. "When... How?"  
He hadn't noticed her. He hadn't even thought to look around. It was only now, as he saw her, holding Ran against her, one hand on her mouth, the other twisting her captive's left arm in a move that had, no doubt, caused the open bottle of pills to fall, that he realised she was there. It was only then, as he noticed the table by the shrub beside them, with one of those magazines Miyano was often reading, that he realised she had been there all along.

Miyano paid him little heed. Ran had started to struggle. The auburn haired woman released her hand from her face, and brought her arms into what could appear to be a hug around Ran's shoulders.

"Shiho-san, what...?!"

"It's a lonely thing, Mouri-san. Horribly lonely. And painful. It's not worth it. Not for one's self, and especially not for others." Miyano had leaned her head against Ran's, her hair falling so as to hide her face. "I learnt this the hard way, Mouri: it is nought but a way to run away from fate."

Heiji had heard of Haibara's issues with her own mortality, but this was the first time he had seen her even acknowledge them. But it wasn't the moment for him to worry about her, but about Ran. The would be suicidal appeared perplexed by Miyano's attitude and interference, but no less determined. He tried to grab her hand, but by then, she had already propelled Miyano onto the floor.

"Ah!"

"Don't touch me!"  
As if Heiji would allow that to stop him. Ran glared at him, her eyes still red from her tears.  
"Both of you, why? Why are you trying to be so nice to me?! I tried to kill a man and technically I managed... So why? Why prevent me from taking my own life? Why tell me it's the one who died who's sorry? I-I'm the one who should be sorry!"

"Ran!" Heiji cried. But the girl had just noticed the attention she was attracting from the few other customers of the cafe, the waiter, the pedestrians around them. With a strength he hadn't thought possible in her state, she broke free from his grasp and bolted. A few by-standers attempted to block her path, but the young detective knew it would not be enough. Without even a glance to Miyano, he chased after her.

The young chemist, left behind, had finally managed to sit back up, rubbing her arm where Ran had gripped it and wincing as her head ached.

"Dammit. Isn't it obvious why, Mouri-san?" Refusing the help of an anxious waiter, she stood and stared at where Heiji had run off following the run-away. A whisper escaped her lips as a moistness that had nothing to do with physical pain came to her eyes.  
"Hattori... Please protect Kudo's legacy."

--:--

She didn't understand. Why? Why were they all so considerate of her? She knew full well that Heiji could have set the police force straight upon her, that he could have denounced her in front of her father, her friends. She could perfectly imagine Shiho watch her take her own life without flinching. So why? Why had he bothered with a quiet café? Why had he given her the chance to avoid him? Why had he not had the area surrounded with cops, just in case? And why had Shiho been there? Had she been following her, had she been waiting just to intervene at the moment Ran had started to wish for so ardently, that of her release?

So many whys, but the answers had all gone, all of them had been buried along with him, and all that remained was the presence on her shoulders, slowly driving her insane.

She ran fast, hardly stopping, hardly thinking of where it was her feet were taking her. Her mind was in a panic. She wanted to die, she wanted to live. She didn't know what to do.

She stopped on Haido bridge, puffed. Resting against the handrail, she looked out across the river Taimizu, the city surrounding her, ignored the cars roaring behind her back. She remembered coming here on a case once, with her dad, Shinichi and Eisuke. Only it hadn't been Shinichi then, had it? It had been Conan. It was ironic, wasn't it? She had always considered Conan as some form of luck charm, and yet she had ended up considering Shinichi, after his return, as quite the opposite. Shinichi who had put up with so much hardship during all those months, and when finally his luck had turned, she just had to have put an end to it. Miyano was right. Suicide wasn't the answer. Ran didn't deserve to join Shinichi's side. He had finished her job in the naive hope that it would mean she wasn't a murderer, but she knew he was wrong. She was one. Shinichi would never have killed himself had he not been dying already. She deserved to rot in jail, to stand trial, to spend the rest of her life alone.

"Ran..."

Heiji had caught up with her. She didn't attempt to flee, in fact, she didn't move a muscle, just stared limply at the waters below.

"I'll hand myself in, Heiji. I'm sorry... for earlier. Sorry for this whole mess." She tried to smile, as if to say she was better now, but neither of them were fooled.

"You know Ran, it doesn't have to be like this." Said the tanned detective. The one with whom Shinichi had first shared so many of his secrets.

"Of course it does. Shinichi wouldn't have had it any other way, would he?" She replied, trying not to think of what it was he could have meant, what alternative he had been thinking of.

"Silly." He ruffled her hair, a half tender half annoyed expression on his face. "Kudo wouldn't have left it at this. He was... much better than me."

She tilted her head at him, asking silently what it was Shinichi could have done more. She didn't flinch as he took her in his arms, as he deposited a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"You don't have to be alone."

It was strange really. Until he had said that, she had thought herself all alone facing the world, but now...  
Now, as she watched the unwanted tears running down his cheeks, she couldn't help but think that he was the one who felt lonely.

**Fin.**


End file.
